I'm The One Your Mother Warned You About
Mike Rophone
Just The Tonic at The Hive
6–13 Aug
August 2026
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A northern poet in a jazzy shirt addresses the room like it owes him money. He reads poems about childhood, fatherhood and a future in which the nation finally admits it has made a mistake. There are memories, grievances, domestic scenes and a mostly imaginary rivalry with Simon Armitage for the role of Poet Laureate. Until that is resolved, he teaches poetry and waits. Bleak, deadpan and strangely tender, the show skirts between kitchen-sink confessional and prophecy. Spoken word for people who enjoy discomfort and the sound of ambition grinding its teeth.
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